Dear Alf March 2011 (Volume 2)

What’s this? Volume 2? A second helping of Dear Alf this month? Fear not, intrepid fans. No need have you to scream of lunacy and…


What’s this? Volume 2? A second helping of Dear Alf this month? Fear not, intrepid fans. No need have you to scream of lunacy and depravity, there is a simple and rational explanation. You folks have been so super amazing, sending me so many questions and comments, that even responding to many of them on the spot, there’s so much goodness that could go in my monthly columns. And I thought, ‘Why overstuff a monthly feature when you can understuff a fortnightly feature?’

Next month will see the long-overdue return of the FAQ to which I can point all those annoying questions we’ve all heard a hundred times already. So if you could quit demanding to know who Squeek is, why Abe is blue, how many fingers I’ve got and when the next game is coming out for just a couple more weeks, that would be amazing. Thanks, Chumps!

Konstantine: 1. How are you, how it feels to be finally back?

Alf: It’s amazing! I haven’t had an outlet for my sadism like this in years!

2. I was always wondering, ever since I played first Oddworld game back in 1997… Where is this whole Oddworld thing happening? I mean is it an alternate universe, or a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, maybe a distant future, or is it our times just a different planet/galaxy? 🙂

Alf: Oddworld is Oddworld. Questions about galaxies and universes and futures and pasts and realities… it all distracts from the here and now! Don’t you think so?

Shaun: In your last entry on the old website, you said Mud’s didn’t have tear ducks, even though in AE they were using Mudokon tears……. did the mud’s lose them after being put on the Tear Tractors?

Alf: I did not say that! On the contrary, as I recall, I was actually saying I myself had shed tears of admiration. Just because we lost a finger, doesn’t mean we’re going to keep collectively losing body parts until there’s nothing left. Not unless Abe starts leading us into mines and off cliffs, and I know he’d never do that.

Nat-Cat: Hey, Alf! I have a few questions i hope you can answer for me. When did the mudokins start to worship The Almighty Raisin; what happened to Bigface?

Alf: Big Face is still helping the Mudokon resistance, but the Raisin is millennia old and can foresee the future. Can’t you see how that might be more beneficial to our heroes?

About how many moons does Oddworld have?

Alf: Air and light pollution in this region makes it hard for me to view a clear night sky, but I’d say there are at least five.

Why is Abe a blue mudokin and not green, like most of them?

Alf: Some TV production company visited RuptureFarms offering us makeovers to be broadcast all over Mudos at prime time. We all thought it was another invasive and meaningless distraction for the entertainment-addicted masses and didn’t want to get involved, but Abe fell for it completely. He got the lip piercings, the yellow contacts and, yes, the all-over blue tan. He’s such a sucker.

What ever happened to Abe’s Mother?(i thought there was supposed to be somthing about that in Munch’s Oddysee!) Thanks, and I hope you can answer sme of these questions without getting to perplexed!

Alf: He was going to become her registered carer, but when Munch showed up he changed his mind and shoved her out of sight in the Nolybab Retirement Home. I take her to bingo every couple of weeks.

Jeremy: Have Muds and steefs ever worked with each other before
If not I think it would be really cool if Abe and stranger meet up to go on an adventure with munch or something like that

Alf: I once asked Stranger if he could give me a lift to work but he blew me off with some excuse about not going my way. Next morning as I’m waiting for the bus in the rain, he drives past through a puddle and drenches me from ponytail to pinky toe. Screw that selfish schmuck!

OddworldFan#1: Can you tell me if these are coming back in any of the new Oddworld games? Abe, Munch, Sligs, Glukkons, Mudokons, Vykkers, Paramites, Scrabs, You, Interns, Fuzzles and are the Chroniclers (An enemy which was meant to be in the PS2 version of Munch’s Oddysee, I believe.) going to appear?

Alf: No, I can’t tell you that.

Austin: Hey Alf, Could you tell us a little about Sqeek, like what race is he, etc. If its not to much to ask. 🙂

Alf: Well, Squeek likes long walks on the promenade and watching the sway of tall grass. I’m glad that this answer satisfies you and everyone else wondering about Squeek! Now I won’t ever be asked about Squeek again!

Rob: What is -to your knowledge – the largest factory that is currently still functioning on Oddworld?

Alf: Sheesh, can’t really help you with that question. Every factory I’ve heard of has been blown up or bankrupt… for some reason.

James: Hi Alf I was just wondring, In Abes Exodus there is a closed door that has the Vykkers Labs logo on it so I am just guessing that the door took you to Vykkers Labs and if it did how could it when Vykkers Labs floats in the sky???, is that true or was it ment to just show the players that Vykkers Labs will be the setting of the next game??? Thanks you for your time

Alf: Well it certainly couldn’t take you directly to Vykkers Labs because, as you say, Vykkers Labs floats in the sky. You’re right, that’s a little bit strange and you have piqued my curiosity. Let me know what you find when you go through the door yourself, won’t you!

Daniel L.: phleg at the boneworkz gets killed when abe possesses him to engage “OPERATION LIGHTNING BOLT” but at the end, he goes “i hate that guy” (dunno what part it was, i just remember it well) so what happened to him huh? was it his bro saying that or phleg him self? if this question confuses you im sorry, french lingo is invading my mind and i am forced to eat snails with frog legs and strong chesses.

Alf: Inspired by your astute observation, I made sure I had a large supply of cheesey potato snacks, put on my finest tinfoil hat, and sat down to replay the events of the SoulStorm Brewery atrocity. And you know what? After three days I still couldn’t see Director Phleg saying those words. Maybe I’m just not as hork-eyed as you, or maybe I haven’t been playing enough chesses, but I think you’re imagining it.

Alien Guardian: This has been on my mind for a while: I assume that paramites, fleeches, and scrabs don’t have eyes. If so, how does invisibility keep Abe from being killed by them?

Piotr: 1.How do Slogs, Fleeches, Scrabs, Paramites see? Electroreception, termovision, echolocation?

Alf: Hint: Don’t go to a Vykkers asking this, or anything, unless you carry considerable diplomatic immunity. I think I can remember it cropping up on the Oddworld Nature Channel. Something about magnets? Maybe if we could understand a broader range of sensory perceptions than those we’re born with, we could transcend to a higher level of consciousness. Then again, I need to spend today collecting firewood.

2. Whose are these ribs? For Meech? This rib are very big.


3.Whose is this skeleton?

This skeleton is in 02:00.

Alf: Look, I’ve been in disturbingly close contact with quite enough bones for one lifetime, thank you very much. You’ll forgive me for skipping over these questions.

Prof Yogert: hi alf, im prof yogert and im here to ask some questions

Alf: Mmm, yoghurt…

first of all, what is you rank in oddworld(leach,slave,greater,slog,slig,intern,gluken,mulluk)?

Alf: Uh, Mudokon?

2 were did you get that cool fez?, i want it so bad

Alf: It’s a genuine Harmani that fell out of a FeeCo Train. You’re not having it!

3 is it possible for me to help you answer questions?

Alf: First my clothing, now my occupation! You need to go and carve your own niche in society, bud! Ain’t enough room in these parts for two Alfs. Or should that be Alves?

and last of all, when was your last soulstorm? mine was 11 years ago just before it get blown up
thanks for your time
pleaze stay odd this time lol:)

Alf: And now you’re eyeing up my weaknesses! Keep away from me!

Miguel: There are troublesome arguments around the web about whether Stranger’s Wrath is the third game in the Oddworld Pentalogy or not. Can you bring some light into this matter?

Alf: I don’t know what this Pentalogy is you’re speaking of. Hang on, let me get the project handbook out… let’s see… hmmm, nope. Nothing in here under that name. You must be thinking of something else: Stranger’s Wrath is certainly not part of any ‘Pentalogy’.

Whats your opinion about Formspring and those ask-o-matic webpages? Won’t you like Dear Alf on those things?

Alf: Good thinking, Boombatman! I have genuinely considered it, but my first love are these monthly columns. Web 2.0 has made it very easy to stay in regular touch with the fans, excitingly so, but I’m yet to establish a comfortable balance between the static site Q&As and the more real-time responses on social networks.

This is why I’ve made this second Dear Alf entry this month, to get through the questions you fans have been asking me in huge numbers over the past few weeks. Let me know if you think I’m doing a good job juggling the immediate replies with those I save for Dear Alf, or if you think I’m not. The happier you guys are, the happier I am.

And remember, if you have any questions to ask me, there are so many ways you can go about it! Leave a comment on the official site, email me (alf AT, message me on Facebook or Twitter, or post on the Oddworld Inhabitants Facebook Page.

Till next time, Stay Odd!