Dear Alf #46

While shovelling my way out from a pile of your daft questions, I found a few that stuck to a theme.

Help! Help! Mud down! Oh hey, thanks Alfnauts. I was ok really, just a bit too busy to rescue myself, y’know? Hey, it’s your fault anyway, sending me so much mail that it collapses and buries me. But while I shovelling my way out from your pile of daft questions, I found a few that seemed to stick to a theme. See if you can guess what it is.

Guilherme: Do you know what kind of governement the gluckons have? are they capitalists, democracts or dictators?

Alf: Glukkons ain’t politicians, they’re businessers. Obviously they’re capitalists, use ya head! Each corporate family is ruled by a Queen, so it’s also a matriarchy and monarchy.

Azileks: Hey Dear Alf how you doin’? I have some questions to ask you: first is about Glukkon, if they are a armless species how did they dress themsalves?

Alf: Personal assistants, or personal slaves depending on taste. Some have a Slig PA to be their hands. Others keep a Mudokon in their office. Never underestimate the gratitude of a slave who doesn’t have to work down in the giblet tracts like the others.

TotallyNotaRebelSlig: Glukkons look really.. dry, as if they are dehydrated. Really wrinkled lips. rough skin, etc. Why are they like that?

Alf: You’d think if it were a big problem the Vykkers would have them hooked on hydrating beauty cream and revitalizing dermal gels. There’s a big market in making people feel shoddy about themselves, and kid, I think you’re tuned into this big style. Now come up with something to make Wolvarks buy more toothpaste.

CrantheMudanchee: Are there glukkon cities away from the factories? like, only residential cities? If not, so where do glukkons sleep, eat, etc.? Do they live in the same society as vikkers?

Alf: The big cities are places we haven’t seen yet, but it’s not just Glukkons and Vykkers. These are hugely cosmopolitan places, hugely commercial too. Then, y’know, there’s the private villas and estates, the lakeside holiday homes, the gated communities. Whatever takes ya fancy when your wallet’s thicker than a Nolybab pop star.

Exos: Hey Alf, this question’s been bugging me ever since I finished Stranger’s Wrath. If Glukkons have a queen (Lady Margaret, correct?) then I would believe the majority of other Glukkons are genderless with possibly a few male drones. If this is the case, how are Glukkons able to breed with Oktigi to spawn Gloktigi?

Alf: Through the timeless method of the business deal, of course. Biologically you’re spot on, so I don’t see what you’re having trouble wrapping your head around. You get a Glukkon, you get an Oktigi, ta da: baby Gloktigi!

Jerry: How can Glukkons have these giant nasty industries and yet be so stupid?

Alf: You never seen a dim-witted rich person?

That’s right, this week’s theme was Glukkons! I might try and keep this grouping up, but I’m sure you’ll be getting columns of pick ‘n’ mix odds ‘n’ ends now ‘n’ then. Keep your questions flooding in: Facebook, Twitter and the comments are all very welcome, so get on there right away, ya bunch o’ chumps. See ya next week!