Dear Alf #62: Appliances, atmosphere and acceleration

There’s no denying the creeping ignerosion of Mudos’s scientific literacy, but Alf is here to separate the molecules from the machines.

Put your goggles on and hook up the SpooceShrub clocks: We’re having a very science-and-technology-y day!

There’s no denying the creeping ignerosion of Mudos’s scientific literacy, but we have the solution. Here to separate the molecules from the machines is Alf, your local Mudogeek with a PhTea in recouperative chemistry.

Guilherme: Have you ever thought of stealing sligs pants and using them for transport or for decoration?

Alf: They’re made for Sligs! Sligs don’t have legs!! Do ya expect us to teeter on top of ’em? Where would we stick the tubes?? And I’ve no idea how you think phat-fueled robot limbs might be considered decorative. Maybe we’d unscrew the kneecaps and hang them on the wall like miniature shields. Or turn ’em upside down and use the legs like a coat stand. Whaddya reckon? Oh wait, we don’t wear coats.

Chris: When the swinging rocks screenshot from NnT got released, it showed that the rocks aren’t really moving by anybody above them, they are just tied to the ‘roof’… How is that possible that they swing indefinitely, then?

Alf: Maybe you can’t see it from all the way down there, but if I give you a leg up and you clamber up there, shortly before a starving bat knaws your ears off you’ll see they’re hooked up to a complicated assembly of ropes, axles and pulleys that are constantly swinging the boulders. What’s powering the ropes? Beats me! They go off in loadsa directions and into tiny holes, but if it’s like typical ancient Mudokon technology it’s powered by the flow of wind, water or spiritual energy.

Wesley: How could all those slogs fit in a tiny slog hut.

Alf: There ain’t a single labor law covering ’employment’ of Mudokons out here. What makes ya think there are laws about how many mutts you can cram in a tight space? In fact, what a great way to make them pathologically cranky!

Finally do breath oxygen or is it another element.

Alf: This is a great question! Hang on, let me look at the air closely under this magnifying glass. Hmm. Is that smudge an oxygen? It looks horrible. I certainly hope I ain’t breathing that in, ewww.

Luca: Let me ask you something: As I went back in time with my special ability and watched Abe rescue all mudokons for the X-th time during his “Exoddus” I noticed the “Workers in Brewery” countdown at the SoulStorm™ Brewery never goes down but stays at 90. What did your keyboard pressin’ gods of game development mess up there?? It’s in all versions I played so far (PS1, PC, PS3)! And where’s the patch for that bug in this awesome game? 😉

Alf: The Magog Sign Company never thought it would be needed. Put it this way: when you’ve got nearly a hundred workers, you might expect a couple to escape. It’s important to know that, so you can recapture or replace them. But you’ve still got nearly a hundred workers! No biggie if that number doesn’t change. If you’re asking if the Glukkons were woefully underprepared for Abe coming up and freeing every last one of them, then the answer is yes! I only hope they don’t go too far now they know what a single Mudokon can be capable of.

Taylor: Have you ever had a run in with a snoozer?

Alf: If you mean Snoozer as in the giant, three-legged robotic nursemaid with tranquilizer turrets, then no. If you mean Snoozer as in one the lazier managers we had back at the Farms, then yes. To cut a long story short, he woke up.

what do the industrialists use snoozers for? its not like there are plenty of sligs out there.

Alf: They’re tough and automated combination lab assistants and crowd control to take care of any loose specimens that pose a threat to staff safety. The Vykkers made them to curb Intern injuries. Trust those paranoid industrial creeps to take what should be a safety measure and use it as an offensive mobile weapon. And yeah, there are plenty of Sligs, but they’re small and squishy, and every one lost means paying damages to Skillya.

Looking at your throbbing brains, you’ve all been learning far too much. Please collect your free test tube of tea and evacuate the premises so a controlled ignerosion can be carried out.

While you’re out there, you can send in your questions to Alf by using the hashtag #DearAlf on Facebook or Twitter, or posting them in the comments below.

See you on Tuesday for the next emission of FArT!