Dear Alf #67: Late love

Alf’s late with his love! Enjoy this delayed release of a very romantic edition of Dear Alf!

Happy Valenti– Oh. Where is everyone?

Oh Meetleshell, I goofballed. I missed the big day, and now I’m too late! What am I gonna do with all this LOVE??

Well, better late than never as my old supervisor used to say (he put airquotes around ‘late’, but I’m not doing that). Enjoy this delayed romantic edition of Dear Alf!

Gerard Young: can Mudokons fall in love? #DearAlf

Alf: Errr, uhhhh, ummm. One question in and I’m already sweatin’ it! I guess… the answer… is yes? I mean, don’t forget that all the Muds you’ve seen so far are worker-class: that means they’re not the ones doing all the breeding, and in fact couldn’t if they wanted. That stuff’s left to the queens and drones. Now you might find a pair o’ Muds who have special, powerful friendship. Just remember we’re all brothers from the same mother!

Luca: #DearAlf How do mudokon-relationships work? Do you often change partners or even have multiple mudokons at the same time?

Alf: If you’re talking worker Mudokons, then anything you like. It’s just a form of friendship. If you’re talking breeders, there’s one queen and lots of drones. It’s nature!

rui: alf of that color are mudokons when in love?

Alf: Well let me recap, when we’re sad we’re blue, when we’re angry we’re red, when we’re envious… nevermind. If all the commercials are to be believed… I guess we turn pinkish-purplish hue! We also become fuzzy.

Elizabeth Holley: #DearAlf how do you tell the difference between male and female Mudakons?

Alf: Well the females weigh several tonnes and the males don’t.

BAR: Dear Alf, have You or Abe ever been on a date with anyone inside or outside of your own species?

Alf: I dunno about a date, but Crig once took me to a spicy slaughtaurant for what turned out to not be the friendliest business meating. Abe may have lost his finger to extortionate censors, but I lost mine to a horrible misunderstanding. And that’s why I don’t eat out on “Bring Your Own Livestock” Day.

Nikki: Do Fleeches feel love for their owners before they are flushed into wilderness? I need these answers for a very important thesis. Thank you 🙂

Alf: It’s cupboard love. In their case, the only kind of love a ravenous carvnivore can give to a seven-foot bag of warm meat.

Dr. Pencil: I wonder what a female steef looks like 0_o

Alf: Not like that.

Spartan Sloth: How are the glukkon industries Valentine’s day ads? #DearAlf

Alf: Same as any other holiday marketing: saturated with plastic emotions and fauxstalgia, and usually appearing about half a year before the big day. Why wait for last-minute spending when you could have last-few-months spending?

#Sam: Do Rupture Farms make Valentines day themed food? #DearAlf

Alf: All across Mudos today, lovers are gifting each other trays of RuptureFarms Achy Breaky Hearts and dining out on fancy multicourse meals of RuptureFarms Smooch Soup, RuptureFarms Canoodle Noodles, and RuptureFarms Love Nuggets.

V.S: #DearAlf Since all Glukkons are technically brothers; is there any special way that they show affection to each other?

Alf: Not spitting on each other as much as they backstab their way up the corporate ladder.

Connor: #DearAlf When did you first find love Alf?

Alf: When I was with Abe in the desert. The cooldown came soon after and lingered sorely.

Ralfonzo: Is there a Mrs. Alf? #DearAlf

Alf: If there is, she ain’t taking my first name.

Gerard Young: do you love me? #DearAlf

Alf: You’re an Oddworld fan. Of course I love ya! You guys have given us all we have, made us everything we are today. We owe it all to you, and we’ll never, ever forget that. Happy Valentine’s, from our Inhabitants to yours!

THAT’S ENOUGH LOVE! Please evacuate the Rehab to allow Alf a recover from this overwhelming experience. If you get out in a hurry, he might recover just in time to FArT.

Any questions, comments, quandaries, concerns, put them in the comments below or use the hashtag #DearAlf on Facebook or Twitter. See you next week, loveys!