Dear Alf August 2011 (Volume 1)

Welcome back to another Dear Alf! We’ve had a bit of a break, it’s true, but we’re picking up right where we left off. David:…

Welcome back to another Dear Alf! We’ve had a bit of a break, it’s true, but we’re picking up right where we left off.

David: Hi Alf. is it true that a slig’s face is so ugly, that they have to wear masks?

Alf: I’ve never actually had the displeasure of seeing an unmasked Slig, but I can assure you with complete confidence that they are the ugliest things you will ever see. The masks are required so that Glukkons can work with Sligs without losing their lunch, and so the Mudokons don’t just die of fright. It’s making my tummy feel weird just thinking about it.

Brandon: {1} Do you think inhabitants would buy soulstorm brew if it was made of somthing else?

Alf: I’m sure there are Inhabitants who would enjoy the taste of a Brew made without any of the unethical ingredients, labor standards, trading tactics or marketing ploys. Thinking of starting an ethical company?

{2} Have mudokons ever thought of going into hiding from glukkons and the other industrialists?

Alf: Well it’s not like we’re giving them maps to all our villages and sacred sites. Can you imagine the logistics of a whole species going underground? The stress, the hassle… Plus there’s the question of whether we want to spend our days on the run, or would we rather try and lead enjoyable lives as much as we can. I’ll tell you the answer. It’s whichever one lets me sit in the sun and make tea.

{3 (final questions)} What happened to elum after abe’s oddsyee?

Alf: He was kidnapped by a band of travelling Outlaws and made to carry heavy loads until he was rescued by a passing Slig looking to sell it to a nearby RuptureFarms for a quick buck. Tragically the Slig tripped up on a SpooceShrub and landed face-first in a nest of angry Fuzzles, who made short work of him. Elum wandered on his own until he came across a Grubb village. They took him in despite their meagre food supply, but were raided by Wolvarks, who kept Elum and made him fight against various wildlife they found. One day when the Wolvarks were on high alert, Elum broke free and ran until he was far away. He sheltered in a cave, but it turned out to be the hive of a Paramite colony. He was about to get eaten by the Paramite Queen when a group of plucky Mudokons came to harvest a bunch of webbing. They rescued Elum and took him to their village, but shortly afterwards Vykkers Labs passed overhead and Elum was abducted by Vykkers, who chopped him up for no reason. The end.

MuxoAlberto: I remember back then, eleven years ago (Tempus Fugit xD), I watched a great trailer about Munch’s Oddysee Beta for PS2. I was very excited and I couldn’t wait for buy it. Then, some years passed and I saw a completely different trailer about the same game, but completely modified for XBox. My questions are: What happened to that game that it wwas going to be released for the PS2? And there’s a chance to play that old Beta for PS2?

Alf: The videos you saw were pre-rendered on PCs, not realtime PS2 footage. They were speculative features, not ones that would definitely make the final game. Not much was done on PS2 before we came to realize the Xbox was a far superior platform to code for.

Mind-Freak: Heya, freaks! I was wondering….how does YOUR fart smell compared to Abe’s?

Alf: Abe goes into Glukkon factories a lot and has to survive on the horrible things they keep in Vendos. Consequently, his farts smell artificial and plasticky. I stick by the goodly products of nature, so my farts smell like elderflowers and rose petals.

Mars Mudoken: It’s me, that Oddworld Forums moron (saved you the trouble of insulting me). I was wondering, in Munch’s Oddysee, there was the mystical mixture in a vending machine. It healed you completely but…it was called Sobee, or something like that. I’m pretty sure we have a drink like that too. Why did it show up on Oddworld?

Alf: Hey there moron, good to hear from you. This is either a fantastic coincidence the likes of which speculative fiction has never even contemplated, or we wanted to thank SoBe, who had given us a glut of free publicity in the run-up to Munch’s release. It was an act of kindness, but the fans turned round and ripped our throats out. Don’t worry, we’re friends again.

Warruz: 1) Glukkons are very…”odd” looking creatures without their suits. But i always wondered why they do a sort of woddle when they walk? I can only think its they are simply very starchy suits.

Alf: They’re probably going to the opposite extreme in trying to hide the fact their “legs” actually go up to their shoulders.

2) If the decision is made to remake the first game, will it have abes newly found voice or his “still a slave” voice?

Alf: Abe says he’s thinking of doing a Lorne Lanning impression this time.

3) Ever consider selling mudokon free Soulstorm brew?

Alf: Boy this is a popular question. Well, the more Mudokon-free the marketplace is, the happier we’ll all be. But I don’t own the SoulStorm brand, so I won’t be touching it.

4) Will future games possibly take advantage of voice recognition so when i say “hello” “all of ya” and “follow me” abe says it?

Alf: That’s a brilliant idea! I’m going to write that down on a piece of paper and file that piece of paper in our “Ideas from fans” box. It’s most definitely not a shredder.

Steve: 1.When Mudokons get sick, do you create a special, spiritual tea with special, spiritual herbs or something?

Alf: Sure, sometimes I do that. But we’re not daft when it comes to medicine; we know there’s no single cure-all magic that’s going to get the sickest Mud springing onto his feet, singing and dancing. No, of course not! That’s why we use a whole range of preventative and curative substances, including infusions, tisanes and even decoctions!

2. Do the industrialists ever buy your tea?

Alf: If they did, they’d force me into riduculous contracts to supply huge quantities for nothing a month. They’d penalize me for not meeting quotas, confiscate my home and all my possessions, and put me to work in some factory. That’s the kind of “buying” industrialists do.

Eediot: 1: Did you ever got the chance to eat Meech Munchies before the main ingredient got screwed?

Alf: Yeah I did, and those were some moreish treats, I can tell ya! The nationwide withdrawal symptoms from that extinction probably boosted sales of similar snacks. I wonder if that’s what drove Scrabs and Paramites so close to the edge.

2: Another food related question, approximately how much moolah are scrab cakes worth right now?

Alf: Well I don’t know, do I! It’s not like I secretly buy and stockpile Glukkon foodstuffs for desperate ex-slaves! Sheesh! Are you considering purchasing some? Dude, not cool…

Christine: What was Aslik’s glukkon ranking? he was called vice-president (dunno bout what), yet he wore somewhat smaller clothes than his other 2 colleagues Phleg and Dripik, and he also smoked small (yet somewhat fancy looking) cigars, so it makes me kinda confused to recognize his social ranking. What do you think about it Alf?

Alf: I think if I’m not going to be the one to write his biography, I’m not going to be the one to research his career. He probably just thought small was stylish. Or maybe he was decompensating for something. Use yur imagination!

Alf-Fan: Dear Alf: I would like to know as to why Abe drank Soulstorm Brew, knowing that it was made from the bones of his ancestors. I know he’s brave when he has to be, and he did it for the sake of his friends, but he would have some form of hesitation would he not?

Alf: Oh, I’m sure he did! He must have done. Yeah, he probably was hesitant. Although he’s never actually mentioned it as being an unenjoyable experience.

Vendetta: Dear Alf, how do I increase my memory capacity? I’ve been rather forgetful lately…

Alf: You need to buy some of my amazing RecollecTea. It’s much more effective than that Glukkon cider: Rememberg.

devon: hi alf im only 13 but im a big fan of oddworld and is there baby mudokons?

Alf: Hi Devon, I’m only 15 but I’m a big lover of Oddworld fans and there is baby Mudokons. They’re the things that come out of the eggs and slowly turn into full-grown Mudokons. Now go and do your homework!

Lorna: Was always curious what the tusked creature guardians from Necrum grounds looked like if they were living
(the one that Abe lands on the family jewels ^^; )

Did they look like Earth’s wooly mammoths or some thing similar but different? Would like to draw it but has no idea where to start.

Alf: Oh sure, I’ll just pop along to the Glukkon Museum of Preserving Fossils Despite Not Being Profitable and take a few shots of the immaculately preserved specimens they have in there for all to see for no reason. Then I’ll go and see the boffins at the Vykkers Time Travel Division to take part in their Seeing What Extinct Creatures Looked Like program. I think it’s safe to say this is a drawing where you’re free to flex your artistic license. Just stay on the plausible side and don’t give them caterpillar tracks, ‘kay?

On off topic if you could drink Earth’s fruit tea which you pick?

Green tea
Cranberry with elderflower

Helps keeps me off the latte and coffee on late study nights at the 3d labs at my uni lol

Alf: You’re only gonna let me pick one?? Oh man, how can I choose? They all sound so yummy. Except vanilla tea, that sounds ghastly. Oh, just give me the strawberry and be done with it. Wait, is it too late to change my mind to cranberry??

On a final note will hand of odd and slig storm see light of day as games? That be Epic

Alf: Oddworld: The Hand of Odd will be delivering next year. SligStorm is one of those ideas we had that didn’t get far, but it’s still in our “One Day” drawer.

Loops: Hiya Alf, I was wondering why it seems like every species (except the aquatic Gabbit) will drown if they are throw/possesed into water, even Muds. Considering the amount of water all over the place, why hasn’t anyone learned how to swim? You could always ask Munch for some pointers. If Muds learned to swim, they’d be safe from everything else!

Alf: Yeah, everything that doesn’t have a gun.

OddworldLove: Is it possible for a mudukon to posses another mudukon?

Alf: Absolutely not, that would be just far, far too weird!

Jon: What are the chances of seeing the Shrykull again in new oddworld games, or will we see new and even more awesome transformative demi-god beasts? maybe you’ll be granted your own one Alf?

Alf: Shrykull is an amazingly useful power that I’m sure will make sense in many future games. Should I have a transformative ability of my own? I guess I kind of do: I transform drunks and addicts into healthy, happy individuals. Shut up, it’s good work! I don’t need you waving magic and lightning bolts under my nose!

Chris: The Glukkons are clearly pissed at Abe and the rest you you guys who escaped Rupture farms, Soulstorm brewery etc. So why have they not just sent in the masses of slig troops they have and stomp out the resistance? Do you think this is all part of there plan? or are they all just a bunch of shmucks?

Alf: They’ll certainly be keeping an eye on the situation in case things become that bad, but military operations aren’t cheap. Why spend Moolah on excursions when it could go towards luxury designer outfits, furniture and blimps? The only guys who benefit are the military equipment manufacturers and Skillya. Maybe they are pushing for a large invasion of native land. Or maybe they’re sitting safely in their highly fortified facilities waiting for matters to escalate so they can profit from an even larger, longer-lasting conflict. There’s a fine line between the devious cunning and obstinate stupidity of those industrial fools.

Also what do paramite pies and scrabs cakes taste like? Thanks for your time, I have been a fan since i was 8.

Alf: I don’t know how to describe it, what words can I use? Paramite Pies taste like Paramite meat with pastry… eh, you see my difficulty? Try them yourself if you really have to know. Being a fan since you were 8 is impressive. When I was 8 I was scrubbing giblets off of metal grille floors and feeding them back onto production lines, often at gunpoint.

Well that’s all I can put up with for now, but I’ll open the next mailbag soon. If you have any questions you want me to turn my wise Mudokon attention towards, don’t forget you can deliver them to me by email, Twitter or Facebook. And remember as always that we have our FAQ to answer those questions we get sent over and over again.

Until next time!